Wizard of Dogs
by YuriAnna
Summary: A parody of stories where Inuyasha chooses Kikyou and Kagome runs off in tears. Not that he's not a jerk, but we can be more creative than that.


Title: Wizard of Dogs

Genre: Humor/Parody

Characters: Inu-yasha, Kagome, others

Summary: Just a little parody of fics where Inu-yasha chooses Kikyou over Kagome and she runs off in tears. Not that he's not a jerk, but we can be more creative than that.

Kagome smiled as she looked over at Inu-yasha as he snored. It had been a good idea to stop by that hot spring, she decided. They were all feeling worn-out from their travels, though Inu-yasha would never admit it. She giggled. He'd protested his fatigue most of all, and then fallen asleep the minute they all turned their backs. Oh, well. She'd use the time while Miroku bathed to get some studying done for once.

As Kagome pulled her schoolbooks out of her bag, she felt drawn to look at Inu-yasha again. He seemed so peaceful while he slept… The schoolgirl glanced around, but Sango was still out gathering firewood. She'd wanted to do this for a long time, and now was her chance.

Kagome snuck over to where Inu-yasha lay unaware, reached out, and began petting his ears. They were so fluffy! She considered Sesshoumaru's odd… garment on his shoulder, and decided that it ran in the family. Inu-yasha began mumbling, and Kagome hurriedly drew back, hoping that he wasn't waking up. But he seemed to just be sleep talking, so she began rubbing his ears again and listened closely to what he was saying.

"That… feels nice…"

Kagome laughed to herself at his words, and then strained to catch his next words.

"Kikyou…"

Kagome let go, tears forming in her eyes. She stood and stormed off, not knowing where she was headed. Maybe she'd find Sango, or kick Miroku out of the hot spring. Either way, she just didn't think she could stay at the camp site.

Inu-yasha stirred a bit. Something had been very pleasant a second ago, and now it wasn't anymore. He wasn't quite sure why…

"Inu-yasha, are you listening?"

"What? Oh, sorry. What were you saying?"

The woman he had been talking to watched him calmly, apparently completely comfortable in the sparkly pink confection of a dress she was wearing.

"I am Kikyou, the good witch of the north. I want to know if you are a good witch or a bad witch."

Inu-yasha gazed at her in bewilderment. "Kikyou, what's wrong? You know I'm not a witch. I'm a half demon!"

Kikyo gave him a long, steady look. "Very well. If you wish to return home, you must visit the Wizard of Dogs."

"What? Why? And why are you dressed like that."

"Because." And with that, she disappeared in a shining pink bubble.

"Kikyou! Wait! Come back! Kikyou—what do you want!"

A woman with short black hair and ruby red eyes stood behind him, poking his back with her fan. She was dressed in some form of metal kimono. When he turned to glare at her, she gave him a look of violent anger mixed with disdain and boredom. "I'm supposed to go with you. I need a heart."

"Kagura! What are you doing here! A heart?"

"Yeah, the Wicked Witch of the West took mine when he expelled me from his body."

Inu-yasha gaped at her, scratching his head. "The witch is a he?"

"Well, no one's really sure…"

"Hello, sir. Fair maiden…" Inu-yasha and Kagura both glared at the newcomer, a tall man wearing monk's robes with a tail hanging out the back. A pretty, scowling woman stood behind him. He nodded to Inu-yasha and grinned at Kagura, who pointedly opened her fan.

"Miroku? Why are you here!"

"Well, I need someone to bear my child," the woman behind him smacked his head, "But technically I'm looking for the courage."

"But why—what now!"

Three children, two girls and a little boy, tap-danced along the yellow brick road and up to the group. One girl, sweet with long dark hair, smiled and handed a flower to Kagura. The boy, a fox with red hair, watched them curiously. And the leader, a pale girl dressed in white, walked up to Inu-yasha. Her dark, soulless eyes bore into his amber ones.

"We represent the Lollypop Guild," Kanna said blankly.

"The hell!"

Miroku, feeling slightly peeved since his bath had been interrupted, wrung out his hair back at the campsite. Kagome hadn't needed to be so _rude_ about the whole thing… He looked over at the still-slumbering Inu-yasha, who seemed to be returning to the land of the awake.

"WHAT? You mean all I had to do was use the Wind Scar three times and say, 'Soul crushing iron fang, return me home or else'? What's that about!"

"Um… I don't know, Inu-yasha," replied Miroku, staring at the half demon.

Inu-yasha sat up, wiping his eyes and glancing around. "Where am I? Oh, yeah. Man, that was a weird dream…" He turned to see Miroku staring at him. "And you were there, and you, and you…"

"Inu-yasha, are you feeling okay?" asked Shippou nervously from his resting place on Kirara's back. "You're acting kinda weird."

The half demon snorted. "I'm fine, you little runt. Hey, where did Kagome get to?"


End file.
